Goodbye 2009, Goodbye Aita

As 2010 rolls in we're reminded, as we are every year, of our resolutions to better ourselves. Our "out with the old and in with the new" mentality has us so blissfully focused on twenty-ten, that even as the cultural sceptic that I am, I'm doing my best to change a few things. I suppose this attempt at staying in touch falls into that category!

But 2009 is a year I want to hold on to. It was the worst year of my life, no doubt, but also the last year I got to spend with my father, and year I learned most about life and family. We've all lost someone very special this year, and whether you knew him well or not, you probably are aware of the strong role Sebastian Arruabarrena played on the Russell family. Whether in the end it was positive or negative, it's really not important, because there was a day, when he was well, that he was able to make all of us laugh. And those are the hardest moments to forget.

2009 began with difficulties. Aita was starting to realize he couldn't avoid the doctor much longer, and after a few trips to the emergency room he was diagnosed, and terminal. Perhaps it was finding out officially that he was sick, or maybe it was the disease taking course, but from that moment on he and I were a team, not necessarily "fighting" the disease, but doing what was expected of us in order for Aita to get his prescribed "quality of life". The ups and downs since then have been terrifying, and now that it's over and I've had time to look back I want to thank you all for being so wonderful throughout...

Mom, your love is truly unconditional, you are a true mother in every sense of the word; selfless and loving, your sacrifice for your girls was more than most people could bare. You made the right decisions, and you've given us the best. Which brings me to Popsie :) Why didn't we buy you the #1 dad t-shirt in North Hampton? Because that's what you are. It goes even beyond this Saint Rich nick-name you've picked up, because even though it takes the patience of a saint to deal with the Arruabarrena girls, you had more than that even! You whole-heartedly treated us like your daughters. and since you became a part of our lives, I've felt like exactly that; your daughter. (I know a certain someone probably feels the same way, but I won't use any names not to blow her cover). Aside from being so supportive, and giving us the incredible opportunities you have, you made us feel loved and supported, completely. I am so grateful for everything you've brought to our lives, especially your love. Mom and Pops, I'm ready to make it up to you the day you need me.

Tete, my seester. we've had two completely different experiences these past years, and I hope I could help you as much as you needed. You were what lit up aita's heart with love and pride. He loved you and respected you so deeply, I truly hope you were able to see that. He loved your sense of humor and how much you reminded him of himself! When you were with us in April, he became a new person. He was inspired enough to come to my house for dinner, and even to Intxaurrondo! That was all because of you. He became hopeful, and like that same old aita that I hadn't seen in years. You sparked something special in him. I'm so grateful you and I were able to switch places in August. Not just because I needed a breather, but because there's something satisfying in knowing that he spent his last good month with you. I think he was thankful for it too. Thanks for staying on the phone with me that night.

And of course, to my family and friends, I'm so thankful for the kind letters and words you shared about my father. As illness will do to people, cancer completely changed my father. Its been fun these past few months thinking of him when he was at his best, and hearing the stories of him having fun and being active. It takes all of the pain out of my heart.

Two days before he died he said, "who would have thought? i was the guy jumping off walls..." his train of thought ended and suddenly decided he was going to paris in a couple of days. He said he'd turn off his phone, and not tell anyone where he was going. He wanted to go to Paris and stay forever. We knew what he meant, and we hope he made it there safely.